In April of 2013, my mother passed away from Stage Four Metastasis Breast Cancer and I carry that with me everywhere I go...in the...
When I finally came forward to my parents about my struggles, I realized I wasn’t alone. I finally began to start my journey in realizing and coping with the fact that I was one of the 18% of the population who struggles with some form of anxiety and/or depressive disorders.
“So, what now?” my therapist asks expectedly. “I don’t know; I wasn’t planning on still being alive right now,” I respond, fidgeting in my seat. I left my therapist’s office a little over two weeks prior to this session with a plan. I had just turned 25 and I felt completely defeated, like my mental […]
Ever since I was little, creativity has been in my nature. When I was young, I would bring the entirety of my dresser out into the living room for costume changes during whichever musical I decided I wanted to perform that day. There was dancing and singing along to Bye Bye Birdie whether I had […]
The whirring of my professor’s voice swirls around me like a dull warm breeze on a sticky summer day. This is my third time taking this class and I sit in the front row of the lecture hall unable to hear a thing. My hands sweat and my heart knocks against my hollow chest: You. […]
Talking about mental health can be difficult. Not only are mental health issues widely stigmatized, but they can be hugely personal. Everyone who has been personally touched by suicide or mental health issues has the right to decide when, how, and if they want to discuss these topics. While this right is essential, it can […]
Mental illnesses command the atmosphere like tornadoes, spinning everything around in circles until we are stuck sorting through the aftermath of a once healthy life. They tear through homes, through friendships, through careers; they do it relentlessly and without apology. Mental illness hit me hard in college. I was failing classes. I had taken a […]
Sometimes it feels like society says you should be always happy, and that showing your sadness is a sign of weakness. This is far from true – if you were to hold in all your sadness or anger you would explode. We all have good and bad days. No one can be perfectly happy all […]
The summer before my freshman year of high school I decided that after years of putting golf to the side I was going to try and learn again, hopeful that I could play on our high school team. In the months before that summer I had been struggling with the grief of my mother’s death, […]
One of the hardest parts about dealing with Bipolar Disorder is the unpredictable mood swings. Originally I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder, but recently was told by my doctor that I am probably dealing with Bipolar 2 Disorder because I do not have full-blown manic episodes. Either way, not knowing when a depressive episode […]
I just got discharged from an inpatient psychiatric hospitalization. I see a therapist once a week. Every Monday and Thursday, I spend an hour in group therapy. Then I change into my scrubs and drive to work. I’m a psychiatric nurse. I’m also a psychiatric patient. “You don’t know about bipolar disorder. You can’t really […]