“So, what now?” my therapist asks expectedly. “I don’t know; I wasn’t planning on still being alive right now,” I respond,...
In the middle of December in 2015 I lost my best friend to suicide. The holidays were instantly a dreadful thought to me. I’ve never really had a good family life, so I’ve always made sure my friends knew that I treated them like family, especially during this time of year. She was my kindest […]
I watched the summer tumble into autumn from the window of my hospital room. The colors seemed to burst, all at once, like a firework. Autumn was always my favorite season and always the best time of year for my mental health. Every year, with the falling of the leaves came the lifting of my […]
Grey and red converse. Holey jeans. A grey Kings of Leon concert shirt. The concrete floor and walls closing in on me as I process snippets of the words pouring out of my cellphone. “Suicide…” “Shot…” “At home…” “Gathering tonight…” “Need to attend…” My chest tightened. My stomach churned. I fell to my knees, pulling […]
This year I was presented with the opportunity to become a member of the walk committee for our community Out of the Darkness Walk, and it was the best decision I have ever made. The Out of Darkness Walks, developed by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, are community walks to raise awareness and funds […]
“In the past, have you ever attempted to seriously hurt yourself?” She means have I ever tried to kill myself. I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. “Um, yeah. I’ve tried to kill myself,” I counted with my fingers in my lap, “…about, a handful of times.” A handful. A neat five little fingers. […]
Seeking help can be one of the hardest parts of recovery but to me it is also one of the most important. If no one else knows that you are struggling, you cannot receive the help and support you deserve. Talking about things you yourself might not even understand can be very challenging, but once […]
The expectation of many teens in the US is to choose a college and an academic path that will direct you to the ultimate goal of beginning the career that presumably will be what you do for the rest of your life. I chose a four year program that would lead to my Bachelor of […]