I often find myself feeling so constrained by my emotions and anxieties that I am not able to do things that I would love. For the past few years, it has been incredibly difficult for me to open up to people. It seems like a constant disconnect between me and others around me. Something in my mind just stops me from having conversations with others. I’ve missed out on getting to know a lot of cool people.
I’ve recently realized that I hate the way that I’m living and I hate feeling like I have no one to turn to and no one to talk to. Sure, I have friends, but that raw type of friendship where you are able to be completely 100% yourself is one that I have yet to find. It isn’t because the people I’m surrounded by aren’t great. The people in my life are completely awesome. It’s just that I cannot get up the courage to just reach out and talk to them.
This is why for the next year I will commit myself to being scared. I will open myself up no matter how much I fear it. I deserve a life where I am able to share myself with other people. I deserve to have my voice heard and I deserve lasting relationships. I know that this will take time and effort but I want to do this. I will find my outlets. I will start group therapy to improve my social anxiety, write more, and talk to people. After so many years, I’ve learned that talking to people can be scary, but through my fear, I have denied myself the opportunity of meeting people that could make life even better. This year I want to commit to being scared and I hope you do too. You matter and other people deserve to see how great you are.