I can’t tell you how often I used to tell myself that I couldn’t do something, that I didn’t have the ability to do it. I had zero confidence in myself or in my abilities to do anything. No one else was telling me these things; it was just me. I was sabotaging myself and I didn’t even know it. I was my greatest enemy.
There have been so many times where I didn’t believe in myself. I would find any reason to tell myself that I couldn’t do it. I believed I genuinely was not capable of doing many things. These self sabotaging thoughts just came to me. I wasn’t rooting around looking to make excuses. These thoughts kept popping into my head. I figured that since these thoughts came to me so easily that they must be true. Why else would phrases like, “You can’t do it.” be so loud in my mind?
I found myself not doing things because of I lacked the confidence. I thought that was who I was and I knew I wanted to change. This change, like all honest change, is a process and I am in the am in the middle of it. I am working to gain more confidence and it is hard. The thing I have learned is that I have to keep trying. The worst thing to do is to stand still. As long as you are moving and trying, you will eventually accomplish your goal. I am accomplishing my goal little by little.
Now, I am a much more confident person. I am not where I would like to be but I am far better off now than I was a few years ago. Since I have embarked on this confidence building journey, I figured out why the sabotaging voice in my head was so loud. I was drowning in my own negative thoughts. They were all I allowed myself to hear, to believe. I was huddled in a corner of my mind, trapped by these voices and afraid. I wasn’t challenging them. It wasn’t until I stood up and started to walking away from that corner that I started naturally hearing more positive voices.
I had the power all along. The power to get up and start trying something different. The power to leave the fearful comfort of my corner. The power to stop accepting the negative. The power to stop self sabotaging. I know how safe and easy it is to sit there and accept things. It is always easier to do nothing. Yet, by doing nothing you are stunting your growth and denying your potential. I know this because I did it for more years than I like to admit.
I was my own greatest enemy for many years. Now, I am becoming my greatest ally. When the negative voices start to come back, and they do come back, I have the ability to challenge them. However you may be feeling and however you may be living, sometimes we are our greatest enemy. Please know this, that just because the things you hear from yourself are negative does not mean they are true. Stop the self sabotage. Try walking away from your corner and start listening to the other part of you that wants to be heard. You have the power within yourself to do it. If you don’t believe in yourself, please know that I believe in you. I did it and I know you can too.