What is Self-Harm?

When life feels out of control, some people hurt themselves on purpose as a way to cope with pain and anger. It’s not the same as a suicide attempt—when someone tries to end their own life—but it is dangerous.

Although painful, self-harm can sometimes bring a quick moment of calm and a release of tension, which can be an addictive sensation. The scars last much longer than the moment of relief, which is often followed by even more intense feelings of guilt and shame than before.

The most common forms of self-harm are cutting or burning, biting, piercing skin, or even breaking bones. It’s sometimes seen as a cry for help—and should be taken seriously. Most of the time, self-harm (a.k.a. self-injury) is a sign of a more serious issue like depression or an eating disorder.

What are the warning signs?

  • Scars from burns or cuts
  • Bruises or other wounds
  • Broken bones
  • Carrying around sharp objects, like a knife, when you wouldn’t normally need it
  • Wearing clothing to hide scars
  • Claiming to have frequent accidents or mishaps
  • Spending a great deal of time alone
  • Feeling unstable or impulsive
  • Feeling helplessness, hopelessness or worthlessness

How can I get help?

Anytime you are in crisis you can call, text or chat with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988.

Self-harm is a warning sign of a larger issue such as anxiety or depression. Speaking with a therapist can help you work through your feelings in a healthy way. HelpPRO and Psychology Today can help you find a mental health pro in your area.

If you want to get connected to mental health treatment center in your area, use the Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator or call 1-800-662-4357.

Comments

67
  • Miah

    What do you do if a therapist doesn’t help you the way that you think you need help? Would it be okay to just talk to your pastor or youth group leader about the self harm that you do to yourself?

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    • You Matter

      No matter what you are going through hurting yourself is never the answer. The Lifeline is here for anyone struggling with difficult emotions. You do not need to be thinking about suicide to call us. The call is free and confidential, so don’t hesitate to contact us at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Your life matters!

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      • NOah

        Hey so I’ve been going trough a lot lately and I have no one to talk to. But I do have a question if I do call the self harm number of you guys do you guys send a call or email to my parents cause I’m only 12yrs old, cause if you guys do plz don’t cause my parents will yell at me wich will make my want to kill myself even more.

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        • Vibrant Communications

          Hello Noah, thank you for reaching out to us. We do not call emergency personnel simply because a caller shares thoughts of suicide or self harm. The Lifeline is confidential and free. We are here to listen and help keep each caller safe in the best way possible for each individual. You can reach us at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

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        • sid white

          no they will not call or email your parents, they have your adress but they will not send anyone unless you need emergency services for physical help (wound stitching’s, hang ups, ect)

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      • amanda

        I am bipolar and my meds aren’t working I am depressed and anxious and have been cutting alot

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        • Vibrant Communications

          Amanda, it sounds like you’re going through a lot right now. No matter how hard things are – hurting yourself is never the answer. The Lifeline is here for you any time day or night at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Don’t hesitate to call us for extra support. Your life matters!

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    • Rhea

      My therapist made things worse. I think a pastor or youth group leader, someone you know you can trust, is a better alternative.

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      • You Matter

        please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK. The call is free and confidential, and crisis workers are there 24/7 to assist you.

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        • D

          Why is it that everything equates depression and anxiety to some form of substance abuse? I have alot of depression, to the point where I want to hurt myself. With this pandemic, it’s not helping. I get anxious because I’m home alone all the time, and freak out if I have to leave my house. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I don’t do drugs, yet people think I do because abuse & depression have the same symptoms. So why even bother?

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          • Vibrant Communications

            Hello D, Thank you for writing to us and I am sorry to hear you are in so much emotional pain right now. You life is important and its unfortunate that people don’t believe you, the Lifeline crisis counselors are here for you any time day or night, every day of the year at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The call is free and confidential. Reach out and let us help you through.

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      • Mia

        I need help with self harm I’m having a hard time focusing on school so I cut to feel like i can at least do some thing

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    • Clifford k

      I’ll be thinking alot. About suicide for over a week now and I have the day at I’ll want to do it

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      • Vibrant Communications

        Clifford k, it sounds like you’re going through a lot right now – no matter what you are going through, attempting suicide is never the answer. The Lifeline is here for anyone struggling with difficult emotions. You do not need to be thinking about suicide to call us. The call is free and confidential, so don’t hesitate to contact us at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Your life matters!

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    • Payton Mills

      Hi my name is Payton and I been thanking about cutting my safe and I did it once and now my parents hate me because of that I am 12 years old about to be 13 my sister left me in 2021

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  • maddie

    What do you do if you dont want to talk to someone over the phone about self harm

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    • You Matter

      The Lifeline does offer chat based services accessible on our main website http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org These services are available 24/7. If you have trouble connecting with a chat counselor (the queues can be long) don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Your life matters!

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    • sid white

      theres chat websites, no calls, no voice. try out trevor project!! they help alot and the only information u give them is ur name,age,state. stay safe! u matter.

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  • Jolene

    What if you don’t want to get involved with talking about self harm because you’re afraid to start drama. My parents don’t believe me when I say I need help. I just need someone to help me. My brother is autistic and we spend a lot of money on him. I don’t know what to do.

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    • You Matter

      Jolene No matter what you are going through hurting yourself is never the answer. The Lifeline is here for anyone struggling with difficult emotions. You do not need to be thinking about suicide to call us. The call is free and confidential, so don’t hesitate to contact us at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Your life matters

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  • Kris

    What do I do if I want to relapse?

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    • You Matter

      It sounds like you have been through a lot. The Lifeline is here for you 24/5/365 at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), don’t hesitate to call us, your life matters!

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  • amy

    my parents don’t treat me the same as my sister, who has already had depression. They don’t know about me having depression and hurting myself, but i’m scared to go to them for help.

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    • You Matter

      Amy, we can sense how overwhelming it is for your parents not treating you the same as your sister and we know it can be scary to reach out and know that, we are here 24/7 if you need someone to talk to and listen at the LIFELINE 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

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  • kat

    Idon’t like telephones. I don’t like it for ppl to hear what i am saying about all this. My friend who lives w/me says that he does not want to hear any more craziness or crazy talk, as he calls it. I have been i the Lifeline chat queue for an hour. I am quitting this

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    • You Matter

      kat, we are very sorry you had this experience with the Lifeline Crisis Chat program. We are working to expand the number of centers available to answer chats, which will decrease the wait time of those in queue. Currently, the technology does not allow us to give those in queue an estimated wait time. If you are unable to get through to us on Lifeline Crisis Chat, please consider calling us any time of day of night at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or send us an inbox message for other chat program options. Your life matters to us!

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    • Alex

      Does the hotline send out any sort of contact to my parents? I’m only 12, almost 13, and my parents already know about the self-harm but it doesn’t seem that they have done anything to help. I was just wondering if they contacted my parents about my self-harm.

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      • Alex

        I’m also being bullied at school and I’ve thought about committing suicide. I feel like I’m depressed almost every day of my life. I want to be able to talk to a counselor but my parent’s don’t have the money for that, and like I said, I’m only 12 so I can’t have my own job.

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        • Vibrant Communications

          Hello Alex, Your life does matter – call us at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and let our crisis counselors help you find hope. Hurting yourself is never the answer! It can be scary to seek help, you don’t have to do this alone.

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      • Vibrant Communications

        Hello Alex, All calls to the posts here are free and confidential. If you need someone to talk to, remember that the Lifeline is here for you any time day or night, every day of the year at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Your life matters!

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  • Kim

    Is skin-picking considered to be self-harm? I’ve been at it since last November with my scalp. I don’t know why. My life has been NOTHING but stress the last few years. I’ve never been able to find a good counselor around here where I live!

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    • Vibrant Communications

      Kim, it sounds like you’re going through a lot right now leading you to skin pick – remember, the Lifeline is here for you any time day or night, every day of the year at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Your call is routed to the Lifeline center closest to your area code. The local crisis center may know of other counseling providers that you can take advantage of. Don’t hesitate to call us, your life matters!

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  • Liv

    I’ve been cutting for over a year now and it’s been hard. I can’t reach out to the crisis help line and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to worry my friends and the last time I opened up about cutting to my parents I was sat down and we had this long talk and I was basically scolded for being depressed. I don’t know what to do. I need help but I don’t have the voice to ask for it. What should I do??

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    • Vibrant Communications

      Liv, your life matters – call us at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and let our crisis counselors help you find hope. Hurting yourself is never the answer! It can be scary to seek help, you don’t have to do this alone.

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      • Maddie

        Ever since I moved from my old town to a new one, things have been going downhill. I have random thought of how I am dumb, stupid, or idiotic if I mess up a small thing. I bite myself, and if I have a pencil in reach, I cut down on my skin spelling the word “idiot”. I have lasting scars from doing both of these repeatedly. I don’t think I’m bullied or anything else, it was just moving jitters that somehow erupted into this. I’ve been thinking I’m too fat or too ugly. Its gone far enough that I’ve been debating as to whether I should end all the pain or just keep going. I have 3 siblings and stressed parents and always feel I have to be the responsible one, to keep my emotions inside of me. I want to tell my parents but my dad doesn’t take it well and when I ask my mom, she talks to me but it just makes me feel more stupider. My parents have tried getting a therapist but she didn’t do anything at all. I want to call but I don’t want my parents to know. I want to chat but I don’t want to put in my zip code. I have to do all of this in an incognito window under a random email I would make up just for this because I don’t want anyone knowing. COVID-19 hasn’t made it much better. I’m only 11. I desperately need help.

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        • Vibrant Communications

          Hello Maddie, I am sorry to hear you are going through so much right now, but your life does matter. The Lifeline crisis counselors are here for you any time day or night, every day of the year at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The call is free and confidential. Reach out and let us help you through.

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      • Elijah

        I don’t want my mom to find out what I’ve been doing so if I text you guys and say I’ve been cutting will you find a way to send me to a mental hospital? Because I can’t do that again

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  • mireya

    I feel that i don’t have any one to go to my parents just think i am crazy and sisters just don’t care and the only person i can talk to is my Tia and she tells my parents so i think i need a counselor but my parents don’t care and won’t let me talk to one but they let my sister talk to one but with me everyone just think i am crazy and when i am left alone i fell i have to the pain go away from school there are kids who bully me and i think sometime i want to end my life and get the pain out some how and i feel like i can’t escape is that normal

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    • Vibrant Communications

      Mireya, it sounds like you are going through a lot with your need for counseling and what is happening at school about eating and what is said about you at school. No matter how hard things are – hurting yourself is never the answer. The Lifeline is here for you any time day or night at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Don’t hesitate to call us for extra support. Your life matters!

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  • shayla

    i feel depressed every day of my life i have vaped drank beer i don’t know what to do with my life it doesn’t help geting bullied or having fake friends i’ve tryed to cut my self before but i didn’t get away with it.

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    • ella

      i know how you feel i had the same problem but i didn’t drink or vape. i got help. i asked how to cope with it. i found out that doing things i love helps a lot. i get bullied to and i attempted suicide at one point. you won’t get away with hurting yourself cause there are people who care about you.

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      • Vibrant Communications

        Ella I apologize for the delay in this response. Please know you do not have to struggle alone. The lifeline is available for you 24/7. Your life matters 800-273-TALK (8255).

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  • shayla

    every day of my life i have depression i’ve drank beer vaped just to feel better i don’t know what to do with my life any more

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    • Vibrant Communications

      Shayla, we’re so sorry for all the struggles you are going through with this depression and we want to help. Remember, the Lifeline is here for you any time day or night, every day of the year at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Don’t hesitate to call us, your life matters!

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  • ella

    I cut my self some days because i feel like i am the reason that my sister is so unhappy. I have ODD and very bad anger management so i feel like i hurt my sisters feelings every day. I also have PTSD, ever sense someone tried to break into our house i have been having nightmares. What do i do, i am only 13, am i going crazy?

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    • Vibrant Communications

      Ella maybe you should talk to your mom about what to do in this situation. Remember the Lifeline is available for you to reach out and talk to someone about how you are feeling. 800-273-TALK (8255)

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  • Lina

    If I just wanted to text (the other crisis hotline doesn’t work for me) what do I text? I dont want to call and have others hearing me.

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    • Vibrant Communications

      Hello Lina, Thank you for reaching out to us here at the Lifeline. Our crisis counselors are here for you any time day or night, every day of the year at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Don’t hesitate to call us! If you are more comfortable chatting online, the Lifeline does offer a chat service on our main website http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, however chat queues may be long. So if you are in crisis and need to speak with someone immediately, or have trouble connecting with a chat counselor, we encourage you to call us at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

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  • xqz

    If I call you, they will find me.

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    • Vibrant Communications

      Hello we would love to help you we do not intend to try to locate unless you would like for us to help. please reach out to the lifeline for additional support and questions you may have your life matters.

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  • Lilly

    I am so upset I cant take it some times I hit myself with a bat it started when I was 6 help

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  • JD SHELTON

    Self cutter dangerous to self high anxety. Add adhd not sfraid to get hurt down grades self punchrs self has many scars on left arm . can’t hold a job

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    • JOHN SHELTON

      240 856 4553 209 karla ct apts martinburg wv 25404

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      • Vibrant Communications

        JOHN SHELTON, if you need someone to talk to, remember that the Lifeline is here for you any time day or night, every day of the year at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Your life matters!

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    • Vibrant Communications

      JD SHELTON, it sounds like you’re going through a lot right now – No matter what you are going through, hurting yourself is never the answer. Remember, the Lifeline is here for you any time day or night, every day of the year at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Don’t hesitate to call us, your life matters!

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  • alejandra

    im cutting myself and i cant feel it help please

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    • Vibrant Communications

      Hello Alejandra, No matter how hard things are – hurting yourself is never the answer. The Lifeline is here for you any time day or night at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Don’t hesitate to call us for extra support. Your life matters!

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  • Norah

    Hello, I just wanted to know if you guys have a chat, I personally hate phone calls but I need to talk to someone.

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    • Vibrant Communications

      Norah, Thank you for reaching out to us however we do not provide any kind of crisis intervention or suicide prevention services on our You Matter Blog. The Lifeline is here for you any time day or night at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Don’t hesitate to call or go onto our website at http://www.NationalSuicidePrevention.org and chat from there. We look forward to talking with you soon.

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  • Lily

    Hello, I really need some help with some struggles that I’ve been been feeling like I’m going insane for a while. I sometimes hurt myself with small things that I find around me. Anything I find is considered a tool to help me learn right from wrong, but it’s happening so often that I’ve been hurting myself daily. This isn’t normal for a really young age. My mom says I need to control my anger issues, but I blame myself for every problem and mistake that happends. Even when doing math homework, if I try like 5 times and the computer says it’s wrong, I just scream on the topp of my lungs. I feel I’m going insane, and I feel that by hurting myelf, I will get it right, and the pain escapes me. I’m begging for advice. I wanna be like myself again.

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  • Lyndsay

    I need some help ,im really scared of everything,everyone,including myself,I am cutting daily,not to die,its the voices ,are loudat me,I have honestly cried everyday for almost 2 years,Immy daughter is 28 with a mental illness and she is mean to me,,,its always like that but i still love her.
    Any help would be nice

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  • Kaya

    Do they come to my house if I text or call cuz I don’t want my parents knowing

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  • K

    Will you come to my house if I text

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  • Coreball

    I’m sad all the time; I’ve tried self-mutilation (cutting) and alcohol use (vaping); I’ve had bullies and false friends; I’ve even tried to self-medicate with vaping and beer; but none of these things have helped.

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