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okaySometimes it feels like society says you should be always happy, and that showing your sadness is a sign of weakness. This is far from true – if you were to hold in all your sadness or anger you would explode. We all have good and bad days. No one can be perfectly happy all of the time, that is not human. One day you feel on top of the world, the next you are down. While I am still trying to accept this myself, I know that it is part of life and whether or not others choose to show it, it still happens.

For those who are struggling with mental illness and/or grief, dealing with this pressure to always seem happy can be even more challenging, as a lot of days are low. Sometimes when we are feeling down, we put on a mask to hide the darkness that lies behind the smile. Getting out of bed can be a major task by itself. With depression at times there is no apparent reason for why you are feeling this way. When it feels as though a cloud is hanging over our heads, those are the days we push people away the most. We do this because it is easier to try and forget about what is going on and not bother others with our problems. But getting through your problems and ignoring your problems are two completely different things.

Whether that is talking to someone about what is going on, finding answers to what is causing that emotion, or using coping skills such as drawing, yoga, mindfulness, and so many other healthy ideas, there are ways to help you get through the bad days. It’s okay to feel down.

Here are 3 tips for those days when you feel trapped:

Try to be social: This can be very hard, especially if you don’t want others to know what is going on but it can help. This could be as simple as starting a small conversation with your friends, teachers, family, or anyone else.

Use coping skills: The list of coping skills could go on for pages and they are unique to each individual. Some healthy coping strategies include journaling, coloring, playing a sport, going on a run, yoga, deep breathing, and so many more. Once you find a few or maybe even just one it can help tremendously.

Let yourself feel: When a low day hits that doesn’t mean you have to shut out what you are truly feeling inside. While this may be uncomfortable at times, acknowledging your feelings can help you move through them.

Remember you are not alone and you are not bothering others: Everyone in life has problems. That doesn’t mean you are adding to another person’s own problems if you share how you are feeling. You are not a burden. I have found that when I do share those thoughts and feelings a weight is lifted off my shoulders and a sense of relief comes over me.

The journey of life is filled with ups and downs, which is what shapes us into the people we are. When you’re having a bad day or a good day, remember that people do care about you, you are here for a reason, and the world would not be the same without you.


  • AlOne

    AlOne AlOne

    Reply Author

    I’ve tried a lot of things to get these thoughts to go away, I’m 26 and it seems that every evening sadness comes and takes over me and I can’t shake it. I’m not a social person at all it’s like it hurts me physically to talk to anyone communicating through text seems to be the only way to get what I want to say out, I literally have no one to go to. Usually driving helps me but the thoughts just keep getting stronger, I know it’s an internal battle and I struggling to make it through I just fear that I’ll be push myself over the edge and will be gone from here. I know I have a lot to live for but I don’t fear death and when I’m down its like I’m so close to just leaving, some how I’m still here but I fear I will lose this battle eventually. I don’t know if any of that has made since to anyone or if anyone would actually read this but at least it’s out here.

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    • You Matter

      It’s great that you are reaching out and talking about your feelings and we would love to help! Please take the first step in getting help by calling the Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

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    • Alexei

      Alexei Alexei

      Reply Author

      Hi! I know the feelings you talking about. Just know – you’re not alone. I feel your struggle through thousands miles (because I’m from Russia). Many people live in doubt and fears, but it can be defeated. After the bad days will surely comes good. Try (just try!) communicate IRL with other people. Go to a movie and after watching ask someone if he liked the movie. Or go in park and talking someone about weather. Complicity makes us happy. The world so big! And people so diverse and interesting! Don’t focusing only inside of you and you see many beautiful things around you.
      Hope you’ll be fine. Remember, you’re not alone.

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      • You Matter

        Thank you for your message! Don’t hesitate to spread the word about our phone number. We are not only for people thinking about suicide but for anyone going through a tough time. The call is free and confidential! The Lifeline is here any time day or night at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

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  • lucy elam

    It is good that you’re reaching out and writing out loud. It shows your true heart wants to stay in this world.
    Now find someone to listen to you, a friend or professional or a phone call or website.
    Don’t wait any longer xxx hugs xxx

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  • KMY


    Reply Author

    Final Breaking Point ,

    It’s crazy to think how much my life has changed over the years. It all started with my 18th birthday just two weeks before my birthday my friend took his life because of his struggles with the world excepting him . It killed all of us inside . To think that the world could be so cruel to a person who brightened every room that he walked into but just because he was very theatrical he was made fun of by other people . Singing at his memorial was one of the hardest things I had to do until my actual birthday. His memorial was August 16th and my birthday is the 17th . On the 17th we thought of a way to try to have fun and live life to the fullest as he would of wanted us too.

    August 17th , my 18th birthday turned into the next hardest day . We were all heading to my birthday dinner after an awesome day of hanging out at the beach in Lake Chelan . Because of how many people there were we had to take a couple cars well some of my friends packed in my car and the others in a another. When we got about half way I got a call from my best friend in the world and ah was crying. She said they had gotten in an accident and I needed to meet them at the ER . Waiting at the ER till they get there then I hear screams coming from where the ambulance dropped them off. It was my friends mother. Her youngest son , my friend Cristian died from impact. My best friend Kim was all cut up , friend Joel had short term memory loss and I had to keep telling him his cousin was gone . My friend Yony held me as I cried to him about his brother passing. Two friends in one day I couldn’t handle it I was a mess. So I moved .

    2,000 miles away . Wisconsin and now it still haunts me to this day. I would give anything for it to have been me and not him . So I move to get away and be closer to my family . Then I meet this amazing guy , finally something is going right I’m my life. Till I meet his friends wife . Who has tried to break us up and harassed me so many nights I’ve lost count. It currently turned into a huge problem at a wedding . I have been dealing with this for a year and a half and I couldn’t take it I broke down. Ever since then (2 weeks ago) I am a mess . My thoughts are terrible , I have little to no hope. I can’t talk to my boyfriend . But I told him k need his help and he just said he needs to go to bed. I’m strong until my breaking point and I’m at it. I’m lost.

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    • You Matter

      I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friends and the difficult time you’re having in that relationship. friend – these are such a difficult things to go through. Although our Facebook page is not intended for crisis intervention we are here for you any time day or night, every day of the year at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Please call us and let our crisis counselors help find the supports you are looking for.

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    • Tami

      Tami Tami

      Reply Author

      Hey, I am so sorry. I just want you to know that I read your comment. Keep holding on. I will not say I have the how, but I know the why. You and only you fill this space in the world. You have a unique perspective that can be exactly what can help someone else heal in the future. The future…. keep holding on precious you. You are needed.

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