The scars of bullying in middle school, toxic friends in high school, and hurtful jokes from family members had chipped away at my confidence for many years. I had always walked with my head held down and had bad posture. It got to the point where I would randomly break out in a sweat and feel physically sick any time I’d go out in public because I felt so self-conscious. I felt like I would never be able to achieve confidence and that I would always feel so weak and taken over by self-conscious thoughts for the rest of my life- but then this year happened.
I decided that in 2015, my New Year’s Resolution was going to be to finally become confident in myself. I had once heard a saying that you have to believe in yourself before anyone else can, so I decided to try that. The problem with that is that I wasn’t believing anything I was saying. “You look great today…You’re a fun person to be around… You can do this”- none of these things I was telling myself were believable to me. It felt like I was lying to myself. Despite this, I kept doing it. I kept saying those positive thoughts in my head every day, whether it was when I woke up, whenever I found myself in an awkward social situation, or any time I was in a crowded area in public.
After a few months, my family and a few friends commented on how there was something different about me. They claimed that I seemed more sure of myself and confident; I couldn’t believe that just by telling myself those things and believing in myself, confidence had exuded through my body language all on its own. Also, those “lies” I had been telling myself unknowingly had become the truth. I began to realize, “I do look great today… I am a fun person to be around… I can do this.”
My advice to anyone who wants to be more confident is that it truly does begin with you. No one can convince you that you should be more confident until you convince yourself. Most importantly, no matter what has been said to or about you, love yourself. Try to think of the positives you have to offer the world, and repeat them to yourself daily. By doing this, you’ll start believing these things in no time, and you’ll see that it’s the truth. Not only will your body language reflect that truth, but the confidence will soon follow as well.