I’m graduating this month and although I have a job lined up that will last for a year, I have no idea what will come next. I’m dealing with number of emotions about where I will be a year from now.
I’m scared I will lose contact with my friends, I’m afraid of moving farther away from family, I’m afraid to go from living alone to living with strangers, and to be honest, I’m afraid that I’ll suck at my job and end up “living in a van down by the river.”
But with these fears, I still remain optimistic. When I volunteered with The Trevor Project in December with a group from my university, one of the staff said something that I still say to myself on a daily basis. We were talking in a group about the fears and uncertainties of life when she said, “trust your life. You don’t know what you’re doing, but trust yourself.”
“Trust your life” is my mantra now. I say it when I’m having existential crises, or when I’m getting shots (I hate getting shots), I saw it when I am trying to figure out what I want to do and what I want to fight for while I’m here on this planet. “Trust your life.”
I always have thought (and keep in mind that I am saying this as a cisgender white woman) that life is in my control for the most part. But even when I think I have some of the answers to my questions, there is still the fear of the unknown. Right now I am trying to embrace the unknown and “trust my life.”